"NO!"
Come on lets go!
"NO"
Sit up for lunch
"NO!"
Time to head home
"NO!"
NO no no NO No No no NO!
I actually don't mind the no... it is the tone and defiance that comes with it...
breath breath
I ignore when I can, pick up and carry when I can (and ignore the cries), get eye to eye and say "do not speak to mummy like that" or even sit him on time out. Seriously people I WAS hoping the terrible twos was it and I was going to get the lovely threes (okay I do have five more weeks then it will be lovely threes).
What are you doing or did you do at these stages to get through with a calm mind (yes I am going back to yoga) and laid back attitude? DO SHARE!
7 comments:
I don't want to be the bearer of bad news... but three has been worse around these parts!!!
To tell you the truth, I don't remember. Guess we tend to forget fast ...
Sometimes my 20 year old daughter is still in this phase ...
Decide on the important battles and stick to your guns. So long as you start laying the ground for good manners now and keep reinforcing it you will be fine. Kids love rules and boundaries because it gives them something to headbutt.
I used to make my kids sit on the stairs and when they were sufficiently calm (usually a minute or two but it was, on occasion, longer) I would go out, hold their hands, look into their eyes and get them to count to five (or ten, age dependent) with me. Shifted the focus, made them calm their breathing and when we done we would hug and go back into the main room/space together.
Also loved the Bartholomew Bear books. Gives the child an understanding of how silly they can look.
Hang in there, you will be ace.
Well, as far as your mindset goes (which I think was more influential for me to get through such times than anything else I "did") I always tried to remember (ok, now that I am writing this I think it is going to sound silly, but it was what worked for me and I had a little boy who started the whole tantrum thing at 18 months and didn't leave it until he was about 5. Of course I also had kids who never had any tantrums!) that age is just a matter of when we got here. On earth I mean. The only reason that you are standing there all adult and experienced with a raised hand (I'm sure you don't smack, but that feeling was there for me even though I had decided before having children that I would never smack them) at the crescendo of a tantrum and he is sitting there all small and vulnerable is that you got here first. Were the roles reversed (and he was big with a raised hand and you were small) what would you want him to do? This thought pervaded my whole mothering. I thought of my children as equals, albeit without the experience in life that I have and without the resulting tools needed for coping with life etc, and tried to treat them as I would want to be treated. Not easy I know, but attitude can help. I also found that whilst pondering situations after the fact, when I was calm and removed from them, sometimes ideas of what I could have done to improve the situation would pop into my head and I would try them at other times. Oh. And this bit might sound silly too, but I would pray to know what to do. Now, with the experience of grandchildren, I know that I didn't have the most challenging children on the planet but I think changing the way you think about the situation could help. Hope things get better for you soon!
I'm thinking what Sally is thinking and I'm nodding my head with Simone and I'm wishing I had been the mummy Trash is, so sensible and calming. When I look back at my mothering I mainly remember craft times and frazzled hysteria the other times. I'm sure it wasn't quite like that but there are a few phrases that have stuck from their childhood. They paraphrase them back at me regularly like
"oos danger!" for hot ovens and "please don't turn me into the smacking-mummy" but their favourite is "Thankyou she said in a big loud voice"
Hmmm...I think this just bears out the theory that consistency and repetition are very effective.
LOL, you are a great mum and remember we are all in the same boat. Your young one though has a very strong will and I saw that for myself, glad it's not me anymore LOL
Oh Sarah ..I do feel for you I see my friends grandchildren going through this stage..I wa subber ubber fortuntate my chilkdren didn't do the no no no-but boy oh boiy they sure are making up for it now in there mid and late twenties LOL,wishing oyu lots of strength-cheers Vickie
And breathe!
I think you just have to go and watch your small sleeping so that you can gather enough strength to get through the next day. I sneak in to my ten year old's room to kiss her cheek and see her sleeping face, so that I can try and ignore the twenty seven bazillion eye rolls the following day...
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